Great re-rendering, CH. Two very minor picky points.
You were ok with my humdrum aabbcc rhyming scheme but for some ridiculous reason (to which however I’ve no desire to be disloyal) you felt obliged to replace my unconventional tpptpp scansion scheme with the even more humdrum tttttt scansion scheme beloved of fifth grade teachers. To your rhythmic da-da da-da da-da da-da I can only say tpptpp.
Your replacement of “throng” by “thong” is more Jake Gyllenhaal than Johnny Depp. Google for
“no desire to be disloyal” “common throng”